So, we got to Myth and went to the ticket counter. Cute's guestlist hadn't been turned in, so we sat and waited, while I texted Dave. He assured me it would be there in five, and he was shaving. Finally, their tour manager turned it in and we got our tickets and sat on couches in the back bar. After a couple bands, we wound our way to this weird couch basically on the stage. They came out to some stupid custom made rap song and when I made eye contact with Clark, he smiled so big and I laughed super hard. We basically made faces at each other for their whole set, and Dave made me clap during a song. It was super uncool. Ha.
After they were done, we went out to my car and the girls started drinking. Finally, we just went up to the bus and asked their tour manager to go get Clark for me. We went on the bus and met the new drummer, Mike, who was makin' sandwiches out of a cold cut tray that I'm guessing was supplied by Myth. Jeff walked in and was like, "OH my god I can't believe I asked the crowd to get me off." They did shots of Patron, and Johnny walked on the bus and didn't see me, so I punched him in the arm and got a hug. He and Shaant were playing some NHL Hockey video game, which Mike decided to explain to Ashley. They sassed each other for a while, then we went outside while Clark, Molly and Mike smoked. I felt like I was in a zoo with all the girls staring at us from the other side of the barricade things.
After a little bit of small talk, we peaced out and went to a party in Chaska, where there was a non-fight, and Spencer frustrated the hell out of me.
Now I'm back at Ashley's, in her sister's bedroom. I can't sleep.

It's been almost a year since I posted in this thing.
However, sometimes, it's just good to write again.
All the writing I do is journalistic. I write these bullshit pieces about veterans centers opening and racetracks being sold and sometimes, all I want is to write how I feel. I guess my editorial piece in the campus paper is a fraction of what I'm feeling, but I have to censor myself with 8,000 possible readers skimming my words.
The sick thing is...I'm good at those bullshit stories. I can make even things I hate seem incredibly interesting. I'm forgetting myself.
Tonight, I worked on a piece about Madison for my feature writing class.
I'm really proud of a portion of it.

"The heart of Madison is State Street, a pedestrian-only thoroughfare with six blocks of shops, restaurants, museums, concert venues and art galleries.
Depending on the weather, street performers and artisans – some asking for money, others who just enjoy the outdoors – give visitors something to look at. One of the best is Art Paul Schlosser, a seemingly homeless man who sings the song no Madisonian can deny knowledge of, 'Pink Pants.' His music has been uploaded onto iTunes, and no summer trip to State is complete without hearing him beating a rhythm onto his guitar. The most frequent visitors are called out by name, giving high fives and fist pounds to the musician.
Smells of brats and ethnic cuisine blend in the air above the sidewalk, giving the whole area a distinct scent that is sometimes cut into by patchouli spilling out from stores like Shakti or off the dreadlocked natives who work at bike shops all around the city."

That's the kind of writing I'm good at. That's the kind of writing I want to do eventually. I love describing, showing.

Last weekend, I burned my lungs with hookah smoke and walked in a surprise snowfall.
It seemed like weeks long, and it was by far my favorite weekend this school year.
I spent time with Ash and Jake and Jack. I was finally myself again.

Today, there was a CaringBridge journal update on Jared (see below entry).
It was a year ago today he went home with jaundice. 356 days ago, he died. Died. Died. Dead. Gone. One year with no chain-smoking, mocha-drinking, lumbering, hair-fluffing Jared.
I deleted his number from my phone this weekend. I cried. It feels more permanent than before, somehow. I have no possible connection to him, anymore.

I miss you.

A president's passing brings smiles, tears to all
Sarah Burgen
Dana Kudelka
WINONAN

More than 200 students, faculty and friends packed into the Art Tye Lounge in Kryzsko Commons at Winona State University on Friday to pay tribute to student senate president Jared Stene.
Stene, 22, passed away Thursday evening, Nov. 29, 2007, at the University of Minnesota Medical Center due to complications from liver failure.
The fight for his life began on Nov. 20 when Stene began feeling ill and was taken to an urgent care center that night. He was tested and released.
After returning to Winona from Thanksgiving Break, Stene’s health progressively worsened.
Last Tuesday evening, his mother, Char, drove to Winona from their home in Woodbury, Minn., to take Jared to receive further medical attention.
She realized his condition was more serious than she had imagined. She took him to Winona Health where doctors treated him for dehydration.
Char drove Stene to United Hospital in St. Paul, where he was put into an intensive care unit. Doctors there said he would need a liver transplant.
On Wednesday morning, he was transported to the University of Minnesota Medical Center.
There, doctors hoped to do a liver biopsy. However, the procedure could not be completed due to complications.
Doctors did not believe that he would make it through the night.
Stene proved the doctors wrong. He was on the top of the list to receive a liver transplant.
Early evening on Thursday, Stene took a turn for the worse and doctors informed Stene’s family that his heart was failing.
At 8:45 p.m., Stene took his last breath with his parents and sister by his side.
The cause of his liver failure has yet to be determined.
Stene was known by many for his heavy involvement on campus and dedication to students.
Joe Reed, Student Union director and advisor to student senate, described Stene as a true leader.
“He wasn’t self-serving,” said Reed. “It wasn’t about Jared.”
According to roommate and fellow senate member Terri Burke, his mantra was, “My job is to serve the students.”
“Jared was the one person who could make (a situation like this) okay, but he’s the one person who isn’t here,” she said.
She described Stene as a “magnetic force.”
This force brought several dozen students to make a two-hour trip to visit him while being cared for at the hospital.
Burke said, “He dedicated every day of his life to serving the students. The entire campus is better because of him.”
Stene started his student senate career freshman year as an associate senator for the student services committee. Roommate and fellow senate member Rotney O’Shea saw his potential then.
“His freshman year you could tell he would make a difference,” said O’Shea. “He wanted to make Winona State better. Everyone knew he would be president.”
As student services chair, he led the Get Out The Vote initiative at Winona State and pushed for students to be treated fairly by their landlords through a Web site called “Rate Your Landlord.”
He also argued for the fair treatment of student employees after the sudden firing of four residence hall staff and fought at the state capital to keep tuition low.
He was elected as senate president last spring and began his term this July.
“I was looking forward to the year of him as president,” Reed said. “He was a man on a mission. He loved being student senate president.”
In addition to senate, Stene was in the Minnesota State University Student Association, a former vice president of College Democrats and president of his self-created Price is Right Club.
“Jared was larger than life,” said Ellen Severson, a mass communication professor who taught Stene in a News Writing class a year and a half ago.
As a senior in high school, Stene was vice-president of DECA, a marketing organization.
“I think a lot of students appreciated his humor but respected him for getting things done,” said Craig Spreiter, his DECA advisor.
Stene’s involvement in a variety of campus activities made him a unifier and leader.
“He kept things together,” said O’Shea. “He was the guy people counted on for making life better for students at Winona State.”
Stene was a person friends and family could count on outside of school as well.
Reed said that he would miss Stene as a person.
“He used to come (into my office) all the time,” Reed said. “I was an advisor, but I wasn’t parental. I learned stuff from him, too.”
O’Shea counted on Stene for advice.
“Any time I was in trouble Jared would always be there with advice for me,” said O’Shea.
Vice President of Student Life and Development Connie Gores considered Stene a friend and colleague.
“He gave everyone attention and he treated everyone with respect,” said Gores.
Out of the 19 senate presidents that Reed has worked with, he said that Stene was one of his favorites.
His family, including his sister, Caitlin, a Winona State sophomore, has maintained communication with the student body. In a written statement from the Stene family, they encourage students to “not dwell on the fact that he is gone, but rejoice in the memories that we have.”
Stene had many quirks and “Jaredisms” that those close to him will miss.
“One of my favorite Jaredisms is how he would always pull back his hair and fluff it up,” said Caitlin Stene.
A quality that set him apart, Reed said, was his sense of humor.
“I remember one Halloween, Jared showed up to the senate meeting with a bow on and a label that said ‘God’s Gift To Women,’” he said.
Burke and others referred to Stene’s predisposition to getting into accidents.
“He was always breaking things in really awkward ways,” said Burke.
Father Bruce Stene recalled a time when his son turned jazz band into a contact sport.
“Jared stood up to do his solo and while sitting back down, he lost his balance and proceeded to take out the whole back row of trumpets, causing a ripple effect, and stopped the performance dead in its tracks,” he said.
Those who knew him admired Stene’s character.
“I smile when I think of the delight he took in being himself,” said Gores. “He was so authentic and loved being Jared.”
From his dedication to students to his signature coffee drink, “The Jared” at Mugby Junction, Stene’s impact in this world will never be forgotten.
“We all have our mission in life; we all have our purpose, but some of us take longer to accomplish it than others,” Burke said. “Jared was so amazing he managed to get it done in half the time.”
The funeral was held yesterday at Holy Cross Lutheran Church in Oakdale. A tribute organized by the Stene family will be held on campus this Saturday at 1:30 p.m. in Science Lab Center 120.

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